Sunday, 31 January 2016

Super Commercial Bowl aka "Ad Night in Canada" aka "Why Canadian Broadcast Networks are Screwed"

I won't dig into this too much because, honestly, this is just stupid. I shouldn't have to talk about this. Last time I checked, people watched the Super Bowl for the flipping Super Bowl, not the ads! Since when did the most important part of the biggest event in sports become a sideshow to a bunch of stupid commercials? The Answer? Since someone decided to turn adverts into works of art and instant viral sensations. As much as I can appreciate someone trying to make my adblocker useless, I'm pretty damn sure that if a Super Bowl ad was a really that enjoyable, someone will have uploaded the damn thing before or after the football game! You know, the thing people actually watch the Super Bowl for?

At least we're being passionate about something that brings football fans and people who don't watch sports together. So much so that, next year, the CRTC will ban simsubbing of the big game! I assume this means if people want to watch the commercials, they can watch the american feed without the Canadian broadcaster blocking it. After all, it's the goddamn Super Bowl, divvying up the audience only hemorrhages the big bucks broadcasters will get. However, because Canadian broadcast networks are so reliant on American programming, the Super Bowl to them is almost like Hockey Night in Canada to CBC Television. It's their biggest source of income, their golden goose, their Empire before Empire even existed! Without it, they're fucked!

I don't care too much about local TV to see the big picture. Let's face it, people only watch Global and CTV for American programming. At least Citytv has some unique shows and originals going for it, unlike the cookie-cutting crap that pops up on the competition every now and then. Remember Remedy or Played? I sure don't! I mean, I never watched them, but they look way too similar to something on CBS for me to care. People wonder why, aside from the CBC, Canadian broadcast networks barely schedule any originals in primetime, not even against freshman shows. Short Answer: They all suck!

The Super Bowl situation might be the last straw for vertically integrated broadcast networks. At this point, you're better up hooking an antenna and watching American broadcast networks instead. You know, the ones actually producing all this shit? Seems as though everything in the U.S is neat, tidy, clean, and balanced when it comes to television. Even as streaming networks make their play for world domination, there's always some new lifestyle or entertainment network popping up to challenge our way of thinking (i.e. Fusion) or some veteran network looking to switch things up or give themselves a makeover (i.e Pop, Freeform). They're the reason why people want to pay only for the channels they want to watch, hense the term "cord-shavers".

But in Canada, we're too far gone. To clean up this broken mess of program rights, simsubbing, network decay, recycled crap, and a total lack of quality in original programming, we have to break the rules, destroy our foundations and start over from scratch. Again, I'd like to remind you: all this because someone wanted to watch a stupid commercial during a football game.

I'd hate to think what would have happened if it were the half-time show we're talking about.

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