Wednesday, 2 September 2015

Teletoon's Power Play is VERY Unreal, Indeed [EDIT: 9/4/2015]

Maybe you're an anime fan or maybe you caught a glimpse of the U.S Cartoon Network, whatever the case, you know that animation has as much appeal for adults as kids. That's why, a few gems aside, I believe Teletoon hasn't been good since 2011; when they began incorporating CNReal-esque shit onto their lineup and skewed a brainless demographic of stupid tweens (I'm looking at you, Majority Rules) and even dumber kids (I'm looking at you, Rocket Monkeys). As the national network for all things animated, you'd expect a more diverse lineup of shows for kids, families, and adults. Sadly, Corus Entertainment is only good at pandering to the first, and Teletoon suffers because of it.

That's why the end of Teletoon Retro was so tragic for some people, it marked the end of the last safe haven for some truly iconic shows, a far cry from Teletoon's current offerings. However, Retro's end is also what makes Teletoon's power play, as I'd like to call it, all the more intriguing. We were told that some of Retro's shows would move to Teletoon, and all of Cartoon Network's programming would move to it's Canadian counterpart. Done correctly, this would be a HUGE benefit for Teletoon, and a nice bonus for Cartoon Network (which, thanks to Retro, will now be available in more homes).

What they didn't tell us, on the other hand, was that Teletoon would be bringing back some of the more contemporary shows and incarnations from days past (Tom and Jerry Tales, What's New Scooby-Doo), or that Detentionaire and the so-called "Teletoon Rejects" would also move to Cartoon Network and apparently displace some of their older programming. Yes Canada, this month, we will know how fans of the U.S version feel. Not only will we be treated to a buffet of Teen Titans Go (and Gumball) reruns, with not a single episode of Adventure Time in sight, but they will air along side what many consider to be the worst of what Teletoon has to offer. Also, again, Detentionaire; which might help wash the taste of shit out of people's mouths.

Then at the last second, we were also told that virtually every adult-oriented show, not named Archer, would move from Teletoon at Night to Adult Swim. In addition, while Adult Swim still lacks the newer shows from it's American counterpart (and Toonami), it's also gaining some newer shows of it's own. However, while TaN is FINALLY getting Bob's Burgers, it's also getting more live-action "cult films" and reduced air time; probably because, at this point, you're better off watching Adult Swim.

In the end, the once superlative version of Cartoon Network has been reduced to being even more of a dumping ground for Teletoon fodder, Teletoon at Night's future is now in question, and nobody wants to watch Disney Channel. On the upside, Adult Swim now has even more offerings and Teletoon is now airing more decent shit, while also focusing on their current shows. Clearly, Corus Entertainment hashed this out at the last second, and it will take an extra month or two to get everything sorted out. But when they do sort their shit out, I believe it'll be for the better.

But seriously, Rick & Morty; we need that shit now!

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