Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Why Do Moviegoers Always Pull This Shit?!

You know, there is something really wrong with the world if Hitman: Agent 47, a movie that we all knew was gonna suck, still made more money than something like Amercian Ultra. Sure, the critical dissonance over the Need for Speed movie gave the slight hope that non-Japanese movie adaptions of video games were finally getting better, but be realistic. Need for Speed had no plot to adapt; the positive reviews from that film just means the plot that they thew together was either good enough, or not terrible enough, for people to say "Well, at least it was better than King of Fighters."

No, I don't think "original ideas are over", I think there are far too many rich kids out there who spend a lot of money on shit, or just haven't learned their lesson yet. For example, how did the Resident Evil and Transformers film franchises get so many sequels, when they didn't even deserve one? The answer: movie goers kept throwing money at them, when they should have been throwing stones. If you didn't like the first movie, why the fuck would you pay money to see the sequel?

At least Twilight has the excuse of being an adaption by an equally crappy book loved by fans worldwide, but these other movies have no excuse. These sequels and reboots should have been produced on mockbuster budgets and sold in bargin bins. If they were truly terrible films, they should not be making that much green. There are really only two logical explanations: either there are millions of idiots with too much money on their hands, and just as much free time, to do with it; or, there is actually a market and audience for these so-called adaptions, a safe-heaven for those who love guilty pleasures, and those who couldn't create a decent movie to save their life. Or, in Michael Bay's case, a decent adaption, speaking of critical dissonance...

In all seriousness, people, the only films that should have this much luck are the films by Friedberg and Seltzer, their films are cheap enough that they can keep making more despite critical mauling. There is something wrong really wrong with the world if Hitman: Agent 47 made more money than something like Amercian Ultra, and guess what? It's you. Stop spending money on crap!

...And yes, stones, not popcorn; don't waste food.

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