Monday, 13 July 2015


Ratings aside, I'll never understand Discovery Family; it might as well be a separate channel from what used to be The Hub. Clearly, Discovery is not fit to be a youth broadcaster and should just stick to lifestyle shit. But that's a clear picture compared to Boomerang nowadays.

After years in purgatory, the Cartoon Network spin-off finally got a fresh coat of paint and set the record straight; re-branding as a network for contemporary programming. What that means is you get classic series and modern shows. Oh, and more reruns of Teen Titans Go and Gumball, as if Cartoon Network didn't overexpose them enough. Never mind the fact that Gumball is a better show, in my opinion, and Titans should have been cancelled a long time ago as opposed to, I don't know, the rest of DC Nation!

The daily schedule is just a random mishmash of old CN series and less-than-memorable incarnations of classic franchises. Hey, I liked What's New, Scooby-Doo, but I loved Mystery Incorporated. Where the hell is that show? Or, where the hell is Garfield & Friends? Because I'm pretty sure most people would rather watch that then The Garfield Show. I'd go on but, it's obvious that Boomerang couldn't afford the more acclaimed titles, so they had to rely on shows produced for Cartoon Network. At least they brought back Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries, I miss that show.

But I think we can all agree that the worst part about Boomerang nowadays is it's lineup of acquired shows. Or at least, I think that's the worst part. I don't know what people are saying about Teletoon's Grojband or the Inspector Gadget reboot (yes, I know it's supposed to be a sequel, but it might as well be a separate show), but I just KNOW that YTV's Numb Chucks will continue to send the message that Canadian animated shows are garbage; which really irks me because we do produce some good shit (as opposed to roughly have the shit on Nickelodeon nowadays). Nonetheless, Numb Chucks on Boomerang sends a message that they would rather focus on kiddy fodder and "fuck the classics".

Now compare that with Teletoon Retro, currently one of the most-subscribed to channels in the country. It's lineup is all classic, all the time. That's because Retro nowadays focuses on Saturday Morning cartoons and other fan-favorite shows. Titles will fade out over time, because there's a limit to how often you can air the same thing over and over again. Not to mention, the definition of "retro" is constantly changing as the years go by.

Yet, Teletoon Retro still manages to go with the flow, introducing new shows as time goes by and, because of that, somehow they got away with introducing live-action fare like Fraggle Rock, Power Rangers, and Batman. Hell, they even have the gull to air more recent movies based on classic series. If it were any other network, (or Cartoon Network) it would be a case of jumping the shark. But because Teletoon Retro has done a good enough job at re-introducing people to the classics, people just seem to roll with it. And really, in an era where homogenized networks offer the same crap over and over again, is it any wonder why one of the most subscribed networks in this country is a network for old shit? Pay attention TV Land, you might learn something.

So, what have we learned here today? Because I learned that you can't beat the classics, you can still stick to a defined format without jumping the shark, and that I'll probably only subscribe to Teletoon Retro (and FEVA TV) when the pick-and-pay revolution begins. Also, Teen Titans Go is the worst show on Cartoon Network and is just as bad as Numb Chucks; I can't be bother with either.

I'll apologize for Numb Chucks, if you apologize for that shit.

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